but most of all....

Who's watching...?

The question keeps bouncing around in your head. Since the storm Sunday knocked out the modem, two TVs, a fan, and a cordless phone, you've been forced to use COB's crappy cable connection. On their crappy computers. This means that there's no Firefox, no Photoshop, and the popups cut through IE6's token blocker like a hot knife through butter. Worst of all, of course, is the paranoia. That girl on the terminal to your left. Is she looking at you? Don't turn you head. Don't. Your ego knows, knows full well, that she's not, that she's staring intently at her screen, wondering if you're looking at her work. Your id reuses to believe that. It tells you to guard your screen jealously, to cover it with an overcoat, if you even owned one.

Stop it, says logic. They don't care about you, They're not spying, it's all in your head.

But what if They were? argues your psychosis fiercely. What it they're watching your every move, just waiting, waiting, waiting, to pounce? I want to impress upon you the need for extreme watchfulness. The enemy may come individually, or he may come in strength.

If the whole world is a trap, just a simulation, then my resistance would be futile, your ego replies tiredly. Shut up. I need to finish looking at pretty pictures. A samurai is not coming to kill me as I sleep, and a pillow would not stop him if he did. Be quiet. Stop checking our email for replies to our Livejournal comments. I will get a girlfriend, and my skin will clear up, whether you will believe it or not. If a man with 80% burns can get a woman, so can I.

Your psychosis subsides into a low grumble, and you get on with updating your blog.

//yeah.../most of all...


heard they crowded the floor

We had another power outage on Sunday night. The result being that we now have only one functioning TV left. My mother wasted no time in informing my sister that she had been reminded to unplug the TV in her room, which was supposed to have been removed when school started. Another, more important calamity occurred.

Parents: We have gone to the dinner for a local pastor’s 85th birthday. However, it is already six o’clock, so we will proceed directly to the evening church service, which all of four people besides us will attend.
Me: What? No! I have to go home and study for my First Assignment Of The Year in this particular class!
Parents: Stop being selfish.
Lights: [go out]
Me: Frick no.
Family: [goes home]
Lights: [come back on]
Me: Oh well, it’s only 10:30. I can still check my email for info from my other teammates regarding the First Assignment Of The Year.
DSL Modem: Negro, please.
Me: KHAAAANNNN!


My mother, of course, took the opportunity to lay a guilt trip on me.

Mum (verbatim): Stop complaining. There are people in New Orleans who haven’t had power in days.
Me: Which has what to do with me?
Mum: That’s a very selfish attitude.
Me: What does the misfortune of people whom I cannot help have to do with my problem?
Mum(verbatim): You always argue with everything I say.
Me (verbatim): No, that’s not arguing. I just want to know what the benefit of one course of action is over the other.
Mum (verbatim): You don’t need to know. You just need to act.
Me (verbatim): I’m 18. (paraphrase)I think I’ve earned the right to question things. (verbatim) Why do you treat me like a child?
Mum (verbatim): Because you’re not mature enough. Look, just this afternoon Daddy pointed out that you didn’t know how to cash a check.
Me (verbatim): I’ve never gotten a check before.
Mum (verbatim): You always want to do exactly opposite of what I say. When I say go left, you go right.
Me (verbatim): Quite the persecution complex you have.
Mum (verbatim): Whatever you say, Mr. Psychologist.
Me (implied): So for you to start treating me like an adult, I have to obey like a child?
Mum (implied): Yes.
Me (implied): Someone set me up the bomb.


//couldn't bear it without you

on we sweep with threshing oar

Me: Boy, oh boy, it's 7PM! I can't wait for the one-hour Naruto premiere at 10 on Cartoon Network! Finally, I get to see what the fuss is about! I must remember to load my shotgun, should any crazy people try to take the TV away from me.
God: *uses storm to knock out power until precisely 11:30*
Me: KHAAAAANNNNN!

Seriously. I was just starting to close the windows so I could go to bed. My parents took the opportunity to lay a huge guilt trip on me for not talking to them. It started when they asked me why I didn't talk to them. I told them it was because they tried to turn every conversation into a guilt trip. No joke. They also discussed my addiction to computers. I denied it. (Yes, I know I have an addiction, but I wasn't going to tell them that!) They said that denial is the first sign of addiction. Which makes no sense. 1. If someone wasn't an addict, they'd deny being an addict. 2. If it's the first sign, why was there an accusation in the first place?

Yeah, my family is dysfunctional, I know.
//our only goal will be the western shore

I've traveled the world and the seven seas

I've been a baaad Jonn.

It's been over two weeks since I've updated this journal. That would be an excuse were I still in Miami and one that benighted AOL connection. But I've been back with good ol' DSL since the 19th. Haul:

  1. Gorillaz-Demon Days
  2. Killers - Hot Fuss
  3. Zelda: Windwaker
  4. Metal Arms: Glitch in the System
  5. Beyond Good and Evil
  6. Viewtiful Joe
  7. The Circle Opens quartet, by Tamora Pierce, sans #4, Shatterglass, which I already have.
  8. Wicked-Gregory Maguire
  9. Lirael-Garth Nix
  10. A box of SweeTarts
  11. Steamboy
  12. Some new clothes.

I had the choice between Steamboy and Spirited Away. Guess which one I regret not getting. Steamboy is pretty, but otherwise mediocre. Oh well.

My sister picked up the Black-Eyed Peas' Monkey Buisness, which is a ripoff: it contains no actual monkeys. Not. A . One. She also bought the "Don't Phunk With My Heart" single—yes, the song that's already on Monkey Buisness—, and Rob Thomas' Lonely No More single.

The tablet I bought from Amazon, which I mentioned in the previous post, has not, as expected, broken my art slump. It's possible that it didn't because I expected it not to. Still, it's useful for doodles. And the cordless mouse is nice. Ali said Flight Vols. 1&2, which I also ordered, were delivered to him while he was in Florida. Incidentally, they had shipped while in Florida, even though I ordered them in early July. He mailed them to me already.

Also, this happened.


And that's about it. I'll talk about Katrina and COB later.
// everybody's looking for something