Whenever a car approaches me, I evaluate the skill of the driver within, and thus its chances of hitting me based on several factors.

1. The depth of the winshield tint, the extent to which it covers the winshield, and whether it is the traditional black or purple.

2.The proximity of the lowest edge of the front and rear bumbers to the ground. If they seem dangerously low because of modifications, then the risk goes up.

3. The volume of the music eminating from the car, which, if it meets the qualifications above, is almost invariably rap or reggae. No Mozart found here. Rap implied a slightly etter driver than reggae, but not by much. Any reggae mentioning 'Jah', 'rain', 'Zion', or 'Babylon' is especially perilous.

4. Whether the driver is wearing a do-rag under a baseball cap, and or a Tupac or Bob Marley t-shirt, especially if the later also features a lion, if he is male.

4b. The height of the driver's hair, and it's practicality, as well as the length of her nails, if she is female.

5. The shininess and apparent cost of the car's hubcaps.


There are several other factors, such as whether or not the driver has a moustache, and how thick it is. The upholstery of the seats. The age of the driver. But the ones listed are the easiest.

//he drinks a lager drink·he drinks a cider drink

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